Tomorrow

I'm thinking of painting a picture, a vague one that will tell me something new.. I scroll through the scenarios in my head, one after another, a story started emerging with each scene. It could have been a second, less or more but it was enough time for me to capture it all.


There are the sunny days, the sky was sparkling blue, the birds singing and flying freely, it was a spectacular sight, almost poetic with the flowers fully bloom beautifying the view... But suddenly I felt hot, the sun was warm enough but it grew hotter, it was almost burning my skin, I looked up at the sun and it was smiling down at me,I felt better, then I walked on enjoying the day, then I felt the burning sensation again, I glared up at the sun, and the once friendly smile was replaced with an evil grin.. Moments passed and it switched back...on and off till the daylight passed away and all that's left is the peaceful moon and stars and their promises of a calmer night.
I wondered for a while, friendly and evil sun doesn't sound so good.


Next, the cloudy days, the sky is dull today, I felt chilly because of the wind, the branches of the trees and flowers are all dancing to the unique flow of air. It seem normal but the fear of the threatening rain kept me at bay...I waited and waited but could feel no drop of rain, the moment I made up my mind to let go was when I heard the sound, I felt its chill to the depth of my soul,it sounded like an explosion but I knew better, it was the sound of thunder as angry sets of lightning strikes the path I walked on,I could feel the goosebumps forming on my skin, I couldn't go back or forward, neither could I turn left or right because I could see those white flashes roaming and searching for me.... Then they disappear and all was well again; but not for too long...I got scared and frightened then it all vanishes and I feel good again till the Rain falls clearing up the gathered clouds and leaving a bright sky in its stead.


Last, I got the Rainy days.. Droplets of rain falling down on my skin, it felt cold and I shiver for warmth but I couldn't exactly leave the trail I'm on to go and rest, I looked back and saw a room with a fireplace blazing, the temptation was strong, to go and curl up in front of the fire but I looked away and kept walking in the rain, moments passed and the droplets became showers of rain, dropping forcefully on my skin, I felt as if I was being stoned by tiny peebles of raindrops. I heard a sound, like someone weeping, it took me a while to realize those sounds were coming from my lips.. Just when I was about to give up to give in to the pain, it all stopped, moments later it started again, till it stopped finally..


Now, its time to paint my picture, I stare at the white board for so long, don't know where to start from, and I won't even know what and how to put it down, The future has a lot of possibilities, it has its up and downs, the goals and obstacles, but still it remains hidden to us, with each steps, each thought, each action we paint a new day, a new future, a new tomorrow.. With those words in my head, I painted my picture.


It didnt take me too long, when I was done, I glanced at my painting; it was a white board..... My Tomorrow is still a clean slate but however it goes, they'd always be Sunshine after the rain...

Consoling you

I woke up to that feeling again this morning, the awful feeling of not knowing what to do or what to say, I wish it were all just a terrible dream and I'd snap out of it very soon but so far, I'm still stuck in it. I can't even start to imagine how you feel right now, I don't even know how to console you. Losing a loved one hurts, no matter how much you say the words 'I'm good', my heart weeps whenever I hear you say that over and over again.

I don't expect you to cry out your pains now but somewhere deep within you needs release from all the built-up emotions, What can I do? Should I just be a comforting presence so you'll remember I'm here for you no matter what?

Should I keep talking so it keeps your mind off everything else?, although that is not likely but it could be worth a try,

Should I kiss you and hope momentarily, you remember you're loved by the people around you and you don't have to go through this alone?,

should I cry with you? Even if my tears will bring nothing more than sorrow to your heart.

Should I leave you alone? To gain solitude and heal yourself before I reach for you.

I'm still in shock, I can't wrap my head around what's happening yet.. In a split second, everything's changed and it was never even a consideration.

I love you and what hurts you hurts me and even if I can't feel what you are feeling, I can hear it in your voice when you speak, I can hear it in your silence when you don't speak, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me. The feeling that things won't be the same, the loss of the most important person in your life is bound to shatter your world.

But whatever happens, I'm here, I'm still here and I'll always remain here, silently reminding you that I'll be anything and everything you need me to be.

For you: Mi Mundo

Words

Words hurts, words heals, Words make you, they also break you Like letters sprinkled with so much power, All you need to do is string 'em 2gether correctly and you can either cause havoc or avoid it... Words have to be one of the most powerful emotional weapons, When wielded rightly in the arms of someone that matters, The rest is left to imagination. I sit impatiently, waiting to hear those words, Even if its just a whisper, I'll be satisfied, It won't kill you to say 'em but I might as well die if I don't hear 'em, Tell me I mean more to you than U're making me believe right now, Let me know that nothing else matters but me and you and this moment, Look in my eyes and fill my soul with your words, I feel so empty right now, my emotions are drained, I'm tired of my heart getting its beats 4rm stolen glances and unsaid emotions, It hurts not being sure of where I stand in this haze... Let me hear the words, either good or bad..... It might hurt but I promise not to shed blood..... And if it heals, all I can do is melt into your arms.... Say it now and quickly.. I'll prefer the Ugly truth to the Beautiful lies.....t now, Let me know that nothing else matters but me and you and this moment, Look in my eyes and fill my soul with your words, I feel so empty right now, my emotions are drained, I'm tired of my heart getting its beats 4rm stolen glances and unsaid emotions, It hurts not being sure of where I stand in this haze... Let me hear the words, either good or bad..... It might hurt but I promise not to shed blood..... And if it heals, all I can do is melt into your arms.... Say it now and quickly.. I'll prefer the Ugly truth to the Beautiful lies.....

PARADISE

Last night, I dreamt of paradise; it was a lovely place yet filled with questions, It wasn't as I imagined,no! There were no sparkling diamonds and glitters everywhere, It was unusually plain,nothing extra-ordinary as I thought,it was just simple, White walls and white curtains, white seats and white tiles.... I guess the white Emphasises purity.

I looked around to see my surrounding and everywhere seem the same, the same type of Trees and design of garden,i could bet if i counted the number of leaves and flowers would be accurate for each person, No cars or jewellery, no stylish clothes,just plain whites for everyone,Guess that's so there'd be  no cause for envy.

Hmmm.... I got curious,Could this be all its about?.... It  just seem like a very fleeting reward as an aftermath of so much sorrow, pain and suffering on earth. Just when i thought i had seen enough, i noticed an expression on the face of the people, i couldn't quite place it at first then it came to me, Content!!

They all looked so content and happy and i wondered why it took me so long to figure out that look, i know what being content felt like, but i could see theirs was much more than the feeling, it wasn't a momentary state, it stays on. Being content without regrets of the past and without worries or fears of the future.

With that, i woke up. My dream made no sense yet  it explained so much. The paradise that is sort after by everyone is not physical or visual, it is a state of mind or being. The feeling of perfect and untainted happiness that never ceases, the overwhelming state of bliss that keeps on forever.

I kept all this in mind while i go about my day, if we could remove  all fears of yesterday, worries of the future and the pains that comes in between, we would truly be living a dream. Now, i can imagine paradise: Take a world without pain, without regrets, without longings, without fears, without sorrow.

For a rare woman: RIP Mrs Okunade. You were truly loved and you will be missed. If death comes calling no matter how far, i wouldn't bother about the fear of not-knowing what comes next, all i'll feel is the longing of an ideal world where they'd be no illness and death and where i'll see you once again.